Enlightenment

Sometimes i hate myself for doubting. Though i know the "correct answers", i seems to be doing another, or trying to find excuses and 1001 reasons to justify my thoughts. Yup, enlightened. Me keep asking questions like what's next, what's real, what's now...indeed a sign of doubt, not trust. I didn't realise that my faith was literally decreasing whenever i ask these questions.

Faith is believing that something will happen before that something really happen.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

-Heb 11:1

Sunday service, though nothing very special happen except that Rev Derek Hong from Church of Our Saviour came, was impacting. I remember myself in tears like running waters. Why? The story goes like this:

I was feeling rather empty for the past 2 weeks, probably cause of the sudden "drop" from daily feeding to daily slacking. I was spiritually dry-er and dry-er each day. I know i had to keep up with the momentum from Tung Ling. But since i wasn't really working, my days grew slacker and slacker. I keep thinking that i will have a lot of time with God so i started doing things like watching korean dramas and meeting up with my friends. Ok, and thats a dip. I fall into the trap. Whenever these activities end, i'll be so tired and restless. My time with God grew lesser and lesser... God didn't give me up. He prompted me and i felt His nudge again. Last week, i spend more time with God, praying and worshipping, asking God for more of His anointing and presence. For more of His presence?? Isn't His presence always with us, in us, all around us? Yeap...it was till last sunday that i got reminded of how silly i was. God had and has and will always be with me, His very presence. I was waiting for the extraordinary experience, the moment for Him to tell me yeap i'm here with you. I was looking through a telescope to find him where He's actually right beside me. He spoke to me, assured me, reminded me, forgave me, help me up, renewed me, refreshed me, restored me during the usual worship during the sunday service last week. :)

Ok, and i realise i need to read through my TL notes again...can't really remember some. Haha. Someone told me uni is starting in 2.5 months time. I couldn't believe it! That's really fast!!! : Mixed feelings...

Well, before i face the "reality", i shall go enjoy myself at TAIWAN for a week! Yes, i'm leaving for taiwan this thurs! Oh man, i can't wait! Finally i get to go for a vacation with my family! MY FAMILY! I remembered the last time travelling with my family was when i'm primary 5...yeap...that long ago. Haha...shall see the different side of the world and come back with stories to tell! :)

Today went Mind Cafe with my TL friends. Supposed to celebrate gab and rach's bday...but end up to be a get-together. Haha. In any case, it was really fun! There's so many many games there!!! Captivating! :D Though the food there aren't really impressive to me (yes i remember the brownie kinda taste more like a choco cake to me), I really enjoy my time there. It so not going to be my last time! Haha! Alright, gotta slp...nite! :)